Day 19 and my mom

My mom is now not doing well and is disoriented. Perhaps due to old age but more probable to the Prendisone she's on. I think she's taking way too much of it and she's over dosing herself because my mom is wacky, where do you think I get it from, but she's being so much more that it's frightening. She can sometimes comprehend and other times not at all. I love her so much and she is one tough cookie!! I'm so proud of everything she has taught me.
I am who I am because of her!! Whether it was due to doing the opposite of what she wanted just because I had to prove a point or it was due to wanting to impress her or make her proud, all the time it has always been her!! We grew up together. One day she told me she learned so much from me, hesitantly I asked what. "Boys, Sex, Music and Drugs" I kid you not!! I was kinda expecting an answer like that! We have fought ferociously , cried until we were empty and laughed until we peed our pants!! She has been one of my best friends and to see her frightened just kills me!!
We have gone through the laying in bed crying because we thought she was going to die to being so happy that she made it back from Multiple Myloma, which not many do. And to see her in this state of unawareness is tough. On one hand I should enjoy it cause she always has the answers and will fight you tooth and nail until she remembers she is wrong! I might be able to win a disagreement! HA!
Actually she is so cute, tonight when I got back from the game she was telling me about how Luke loves a good debate, again, don't know where in the world he gets that from ;) and he starts one with her about Jade our dog and why the tape on the bottom of her foot should remain there even though shes whining and can't get it off and she tells me she leans down to him and in a deep and frankly nasty voice that you might only speak to a horse getting ready to kick you, tells him to remove the tape NOW. Now of course he does it and she can't understand why he won't talk to her to the rest of the night. So I explain that Luke will speak to someone just like he is spoken to by them. She stops, cocks her head and shrugs and says, "well I'm still learning everyday" Even in that fogginess she totally got it! She is still my mama in any state and I love her!! I just have to get used to her being in this state! I'm grateful I can be here for her and support her during these times. It's all perfect!!