Holidays, juicing and family!!

Wow -today was such a learning experience for me. And I really grew.
Now sometimes being on this juice can make one a bit hyper sensitive to the entire world. And that started late last night for me. No one was making any sense to me and they weren't understanding me at all. Whaaaaa!!! So I go to bed, after I apologize for my innate bitchiness, please refer to previous blog on regrets, and can only hopr that tomorrow will be a blessed day.
Wake up, feeling ok, get my juice, kids getting ready for brunch and are excited, get dressed, started to feel this twinge of anxiety and resisting the hyper sensitive juice self from coming out. It's like the incredible hulk or becoming a werewolf. But I now it's coming then little Luke huffs, "I'm NOT wearing my boots!"
Oh no he didn't!!! The green starts to come to the surface of my skin, my knuckles become hairy and blamo, there I am, the dark barking down the street is giving me chills!! So I yelled to everyone,
"GET IN THE CAR NOW AND WEAR YOUR BOOTS!!!!!"
Of course he was very glad he did, because it was wet and muddy at Radnor today and of course, mama does know best! Thank You MAMA!!
Day is going great, Luke wins the Annual Egg Drop Award, which every year I say is fixed, because we have never won after 14yrs of going -haha!!
Then the ol' family disfunctional dynamic sets in and looking at it now it's funny but in the moment, not so much!! I'm sure everyone can relate. And I had yet again another melt down and walked away to get my composure.
What was so fantastic about this interaction was that as the baby in the family, I get picked on, teased and frankly unjustly abused (ok a little dramatic, but the youngest out there get it!).
And I never stand up for myself and either go away crying, not so much anymore but as a kid a zillion times, or get upset and stuff it and boy did I want to eat, smoke, and drink!! *****
STAR that because when I don't express myself is when I want to binge!! WOW -huge awareness for me happening right now in this moment!! It's something that has been a blind-spot for me!! I never understood exactly what was the trigger. Sweet!!*****
So instead I embraced it and threw myself into the lions den and said, "FUCK OFF!!!" and "I love you and stop treating me this way, cause you know it upsets me." I first got hung up on and I called back, then I got, "I'm sorry, it was mean and I just wanted to have some fun and I see it got out of control and it was at your expense and I love you too".
WOW! And continued to have great conversations with everyone in my family the rest of the day and had a bonding moment with my 14yr old nephew because we talked about what it's like being the youngest and we totally related to each other!!
I love that!
I was fine with all of the food today. It was only until I had something to say and was afraid to say it that I wanted to drink a glass of wine and have some of the Salt and Vinegar chips!
I even made up the Easter Baskets and boy those malted milk balls were looking fine!
But ya know, I didn't!
I'm loving this journey and I'm enjoying growing closer to people in my life as well as new ones just beginning!
Happy Easter Everyone!!