Day 18 -and ugh I want to EAT!!

I'm wondering why I'm doing this today! As I awoke with a major allergy attack, I did NOT want to deal with the JUICE!! And my house mate and his girlfriend are having bagels, lox and cream cheese and mimosas and it's Sunday!! I didn't break! Although I was extremely tempted. So I have to say, why am I doing this? If this is the journey what is the meaning? Am I being responsible or obsessed? How much is too much and when do I stop? When I said I would? Why do I keep going or do I stop early? Will I ever be happy with my body no matter what my weight or do I always have something to prove? Is that being on the edge creating something new or am I just hard on myself? These are questions I have right now!! I'm gonna watch United States of Tara and and at least I don't have that issue!! Or do I?? HA!